Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Just Be Me

I’ve been so worried all my life about where I’m going, how I’m getting there, if I’ll ever amount to anything, how I can become good at everything, liked by everyone, and on and on...

But now I see that none of that matters if I’m not happy now. I’ve got to stop chasing a ideal that isn’t even mine, stop trying to catch up to an impossible image. I’ve got to find my own dream, even if it means doing something that isn’t that highly rewarded or acknowledged, even if it’s something I didn’t consider before, even if it means letting go of what I’ve been killing myself working towards for the last 26 years.

I don’t want to live on stress anymore, and I don’t want to keep trying to be everything anymore. I just want to be me. I want to figure out what makes me me, and just be that from now on.

I will have to go back to work tomorrow, as my all-to-brief 3 day self stay-cation comes to an end. But let me not forget what I've written here. Let me not lose this precious new nugget of my worth. Just be me, Rebecca, just be me.