In some ways, I see the absurdity of my plan. No one ever really figured out their life's mission by just sitting down and thinking about it. It came to those 'enlightened' people through opportunities that presented themselves as they went on living their lives, most likely through a combination of timing and luck. It probably did not come as some great epiphany while they sat idly in reflection. So no matter how hard I try, or how long I take, or how much I ponder, I must accept that I will likely not find the answer I want this way. All I can do is now adjust my expectations and instead aim for a better understanding of my current position; what I can do in the very immediate 'now' to better achieve a healthy contented state of being. Hopefully that will lead me to ideas for the best next step to take. Many ideas will surface, but ultimately, if I am to get back out there and open up the possibility for such opportunities, I'm going to have to, as my friend Sarah so poignantly put it, 'just pick something and run with it.' And once I hit that ground running, I'll stumble more and more next steps that will eventually pave the road in the direction of what I am searching for. It may be a rocky road, but at least it will finally be mine.
