I've spent my whole life trying to help my parents understand who I am, in the hope they might see my worth. I've spent my whole life defending my worth to my grandmother, who never believed I had any. And I spent my whole life trying to live up to the expectations of my sisters who, in my eyes, had far more worth than I ever would. But never before in my life have I been blessed to have so many people in my life who truly appreciate my worth, and help me accept my own worth for myself (which is far more important) - people who make me feel worthwhile. I was reminded of this again today, and so I find it excellently appropriate & relevant now to share with you the Facebook note I wrote in tribute to my dearest friends one crazy Monday in the office...
Sept 27, 2010: A Message of Gratitude & Love
I've been doing a lot of thinking these last few weeks, since the burn and the post-frenzy of stress and sickness. As you may know, I have been struggling lately with issues of the heart, work over commitment, time management, career path and my worth, and so on. And as I've attempted to get a handle on all this, develop a plan to regain my sanity, I couldn't help but realize there is one part of my life that does not bring me stress... the one part that is the glue keeping me clumsily together... and that, my dear friends, is you.
I could never have imagined myself so lucky to be surrounded by such an extraordinary plethora of loving, intelligent, perceptive, strong and inspired people as you all are! I have come to depend on each of you in some way (and you know I'm not so good with depending on people). I am so unbelievably grateful for the support and guidance you each have given me, in your own way, in whatever part of my disjointed life I've unloaded to you.
I know this is an incredibly cheesy note, and I'm not normally this gushy (well at least not while sober), but it's just become so apparent to me through all this recent self-reflection time I've had - that I could never have gotten this far without you - and I felt compelled this very moment to tell you.
No matter where we go from here, or how often we connect... no matter what our context or how our story continues... each and every one of you is an incredible and essential force in my life, and I never want you to forget that.
May you each find the peace & sanity you search for, and know always that you are loved.
Rebecca
